And here we are....FALL. No blogging done during the last year.

I feel awful about it.

There is not enough coffee in the world to make me feel better about it.

There is also not enough coffee to solve my issues that have kept me from blogging.

As my friend Kelli said recently,

"If those of us who struggle, as much as I struggle, are ashamed of it, we're never going to get anywhere". 

And the thing is, I am tired.

Tired of struggling, tired of feeling like I am failing, feeling alone, and overwhelmed.

and I'm guessing you are too. So many of us are. Don't get me wrong, I have great people in my life who love me well, but I think its the nature of our society today to be stressed out.
Do more. BE MORE. All the freaking time. And when we fall, getting back up is harder and harder.

So how do we stop?

Its been a while...

So many things have happened, some have gone right and many have gone wrong, and everything changed.

I've changed.

And definitely not in the ways that I thought I would. I took a look back at my blog posts and realized that some of those same demons that I have fought in my past, still define me. New ones have also crept in.
I have been living in a hard reality.

For the last year, I have let grief define me. It came in multiple forms, and under many circumstances, but I'm finally dealing with it.

I'm finally beginning to heal.

I can see the beauty in the storm.